Being fifteen and seeing your favorite band for the first time in a tiny club, then seeing them decades later in a "venue" and paying through the nose for your nostalgia...an essay I wrote mostly in wistful sighs.
Bands that never existed #228: Waking Snakes. Bass player Ace Waking and longtime songwriting partner/vocalist Danny "Tube" Snakes have re-united and will hit the road this summer as part of the Mystery Karma tour, playing festivals and fair grounds from St. Louis to Boise. Mr. Snakes, reached at his Corpus Christie home, promises, "All the old hits, plus some new rock opera-ish stuff we've been working on." Long-time fans will no doubt be raising lighters and demanding to hear Waking Snakes biggest hit, "Don't Call Me Ishmael", which rose to number ninety-nine on the Big Prog 100 charts in the summer of '92, and then enjoyed a brief resurgence after being sampled by MC Drac Teef for his trip-hop classic, "What What Whassis?" However, ticket sales have lagged as rumors swirl that Mr. Waking has actually joined the cast of Joseph and the Fairly Drab Dreamcoat, and will officially be replaced by Donald Becker when the tour kicks off at the Branson, MO venue the Rowdy Beaver, best known for the six-year residency of comedian Yakov Smirnoff. Said Mr. Smirnoff, when reached by phone, "In Missouri, has-been act steps on you."
It's official~My short story collection, Welcome Thieves, will be out February 23rd, 2016 (Algonquin Press). I will almost certainly be visiting a city near you to talk all about it, but in the meantime, if you close your eyes, you can almost hear it calling your name.
Here it is, and just in time to celebrate our country's independence: my long-promised homage to a great man and personal hero, Mr. Donald Trump. Candidate, statesman, father, mogul, trendsetter, boss.
Or, wait, is he the Worst Person in America? You decide.
Have a quote in the new July issue of Writer's Digest. It appears in an article about creativity and inspiration written by the great Deb Caletti. Check it out.
I seem to have been quoted in the latest Writer's Digest. I honestly have no idea how or why, and I have no recollection at all of writing those sentences. So, you know, not strange at all. Next up: my two cents spotted in an Atlantic article on the fallacy of quantum mechanics. Or on "Pudding as rodent comfort food" in Habitrails & Other Luxury Hamster Villas Digest. Also, I have never been to Kolkata, with or without my Lululemon stretch pants.