Working Class Heroine

​Oh, just that day at that pizza place when someone ordered two slices of Instant Karma with extra sausage, and then proceeded to dismantle my endorsement of a certain Liverpudlian crooner, pointing out the execrable "Walls And Bridges" album, and in particular the proto-disco Elton John duet "Whatever Gets You Through The Night", since even cocaine could not get you through that song. Plus his barely veiled misogyny, dimwitted hippie Love-In philosophy, and almost single-handed ruination of the fantastic Harry Nilsson, who only managed to produce one and one-half good records primarily due to his prolonged exposure to the breadth and width of Mr. Ono Conduit's vices. I said, "Sure, but the world would be a vastly worse place without "Don't Let Me Down," not to mention his contribution to the Mean Mr. Mustard/Polythene Pam/She Came In Through The Bathroom Window medley." A certain purple-jacketed girl sprinkled oregano on her last bite of crust and shook her head with derision. "For one thing, that band is nothing without Billy Preston, let alone Bernard Purdie. They played all the best parts on those songs." Some tough-looking bikers at the next booth had started to listen in, and appeared none too happy with the tenor of the conversation. "What about Sgt. Pepper's?" I said. "Please," she said. "Have you ever heard those demos? It's all George Martin studio wizardry. The boys were too busy dropping acid with the Maharaja to know an F-sharp from a G-flat." I bought the bikers a round of Ballard Bitter and they seemed to calm down a bit. "Dad," she said, "Nostalgia isn't music, okay? It's a dangerous intellectual trap. You have to find a way to rise above your most comforting inclinations. You have to branch out and really HEAR what's happening now, in 2021. Otherwise you're just a repository of tropes and gimmicks forever in search of a context."
I nodded, wiped the marinara off her face, got her back in the minivan and gave her a juice box, and then we drove slowly and carefully in the right lane at exactly the speed limit all the way home.