You Killed Wesley Payne
Five Things The Publisher Said About You Killed Wesley Payne:
- "It’s not nearly violent or sarcastic enough. You’re getting soft, Beaudoin. And do you think the characters could swear a little farking more?"
- "Reminded me Eraserhead, if Eraserhead were a book about a teen detective."
- "I finished it in one sitting. That’s what they pay me to do. And, also, I was sitting in a lawn chair wrapped in duct tape."
- "This is going to resurrect our fortunes, not to mention save all of publishing, with both its inherent genius and limitless sales potential."
- "Some people like to be entertained. Good thing every copy of You Killed Wesley Payne comes with a free gallon of Four Loko and a twenty-percent off coupon for Doc Nob’s Old Tyme Trepanning Salon."
Some Advice I, Dalton Rev, Can Give You, The Potential Reader:
- Whether it’s beer or the flu or too many Cheetos, never pass out at a party. Ever.
- There’s a reason they call the cops The Cops.
- Tough guys tend to be about as tough as you let them. Don’t let them.
- Never go mano-a-mano with a sniper. On the other hand, feel free to go mano-a-mano with your Spanish tutor. Especially if she’s cute.
- We live in a kleptocracy. That means you either have a bad case of The Klept, or you’re fighting the power. Pick a side.