Sean Beaudoin

Enough excellent writing to fill a large tube sock

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The Worst Movie I've Seen In 10 Years

Well, for a long time I thought I Heart Huckabees topped my list as the decade's most pretentious, false, and pointless film. But then I saw Elizabethtown and realized I needed a new list. If there was one honest second in Elizabethtown, it must have come when I was sleeping. It was a masterpiece of failed emotional manipulation. Okay, so that went on top. But then last week I saw The Last Kiss. It could also have been titled The Last Zach Braff Movie I Will Ever See. Zach's sad-Zach face and overwhelming level of Braffness reaches near-unbearable levels about 12 minutes in. And then there's another hour and a half of him staring at the lens with big doe-y Braff-eyes. So, yeah, Last Kiss is now on top. It's hard to imagine it being displaced, but I still haven't seen that Leo The Cap movie where he talks in a Boer accent and saves all of Africa from evil diamond smugglers.
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"Even so, they can arrest every

Yeti in the five woods and

it will not matter. A concept

cannot be jailed."

       -Cornelius Wrathbone

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