Sean Beaudoin

Enough excellent writing to fill a large tube sock

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The Worst Of All Curses

I've had really bad insomnia the last couple months or so and I've found myself surfing channels late at night more than I'd like to admit. There's just a point where you can't sleep but you also can't read anymore, it's not even that you're tired or your eyes hurt, you just can process another word, and so after I get tired of searching for Swayze movies on TNT, I've found myself suckered into the world of infomercials. Up until now I'd always thought of the informercial as something only incrementally more preferable than a bad case of Legionnaire's disease, but suddenly they seem completely fascinating. There's something about the artificiality of them that , given Iraq and certain Idaho senators and mortgage rates and the inescapable vicissitudes of Pari Shilton, Infomercial World suddenly seems not only eminently logical, but hyper-real. My personal favorites at the moment are the McKenzie Phillips version of Proactive, as well as anything with my man Ron Popiel. Pretty much any vacuum one tends to be good as well. I may have to start reviewing them.


you’re kidding, right? Right?

I love infomericals too! I hate P. Diddy too !

we have only recently got cable; before that the only good thing on late at night and weekend afternoons were infomercials; somehow none of us could get tired of the Magic Bullet.  My mom has seen that one for over 10 years!

What’s the Magic Bullet? Sounds good. Is it like the Roomba?

Magic Bullet’s a type of magic blender.  Creates everything from smoothies to baby food.  Google magic bullet during these down times.  You’ll be amazed at what it can do!  Haven’t bought one myself.  Gives me an excuse to hate making food and complain how long cooking can take, I guess.

Hey just a heads up, I wanted to let everyone know that Xio Dibin speaks English.  I hope I posted in the right location?

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"If a moron wants to know nothing, and is only interested in making cheap jokes, are chunks of said moron vastly more likely to soon be residing in a zombie esophagus than someone who takes his survival seriously?"

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