Sean Beaudoin

Enough excellent writing to fill a large tube sock

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From the Blog

Movie Review

The Book of Eli dir. The Hughes Brothers — 5.4

Yet again The Road Warrior is remade into another derivative apocalypse tale. This one is different in the sense that none of the others I've ever seen had Denzel playing Jesus. But, you know, they stole just about everything else and cobbled together a Franken-movie here that is just as much The Road as it is Waterworld, The Postman, Resident Evil, and Farenheit 451. Denzel even manages, in a world where books are burned, to memorize the entire bible so he can recite in on his deathbed to a scribe located on Alcatraz. No, I'm not making that up. Also, his sexy sidekick, who he remains nobly chaste with, is a girl who knows nothing of "the former world", even to the point that she can't read, but she somehow manages to instinctively know how to use and perfectly toss a grenade, as well as drive several hundred miles of broken road on a fifth of a tank of gas. To be fair, the first third of this was interesting. When the guns came out, the brains went in. And there was still two whole acts left.
 

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"Trail was no longer an accurate term. It was now just the slightest cleft between vegetation, like a rotting green thong pulled tight between the ass cheeks of being lost."

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