Sean Beaudoin

Enough excellent writing to fill a large tube sock

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New Awesomely Horrible Film

I had insomnia last night, like I do most nights, which still doesn't begin to explain why I was up at 3am watching 1984's savagely bad HARD TO HOLD starring erstwhile rocker Ric Springfield. See, Ric is a hard rocker who rocks HARD, but can't find a good woman. Then he meets this mousy child psychologist played by some mousy actress I've never even heard of, and falls in love. Rick and Mouse have a hard time, though, what with his hectic Rocker Lifestyle. This gives the film a chance to go through about 1000 bad montages of them in parks and on jogs and alone thinking about one another while a b-side Ric Springfield tune wails in the background. This movie also has lots of on-stage scissor kicks, a red Trans Am, Ric in a sleeveless grey vest, Ric in a navy uniform and accompanying earring looking like Richie Gere's anorexic younger brother, a roadie named "Casserole", and lots of strum-strummy D chords.

Best line in movie: At the end, Ric decides to take off during the middle of a ROCKING show to punch his Trans Am out to the airport and stop Mouse from leaving town...his manager grabs his arm backstage and says (really): "Don't do it, man...dames like Diana are a lot of trouble..."
Ric tears off his grey sleeveless vest and throws it into the crowd, drives to the airport, finds Diana and gives her a big vegemite-breath hug. She is so happy she doesn't find it odd Ric is magically wearing the same grey sleeveless vest he just threw into the crowd twenty minutes before. They walk out arm-in-arm, the credits roll, and they drive away in the Trans, presumably to a small, quiet midwestern town where they can immediately start producing a line of Mousy/Earringed children.

Comments

I am always rooting for the mousey chick!! Go mouse!

ok, that is hilarious.  Where can i buy your book again?

If you can’t be with the one you love… then rock out with Ric Springfield at 3AM.
I wonder if that mousy actress will ever read your blog.

i just wish that I had Jessie’s girl.

Hey just a heads up, I wanted to let everyone know that Xio Dibin speaks English.  I hope I posted in the right location?

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‘He did.’
‘About what?’
‘A women’s prison’
‘Why didn’t I think of that?’”

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