Sean Beaudoin

Enough excellent writing to fill a large tube sock

My Books:

"Some Tears May Be Crocodile, But My Salt Is True."

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The Worst Movie I've Seen In 10 Years

Well, for a long time I thought I Heart Huckabees topped my list as the decade's most pretentious, false, and pointless film. But then I saw Elizabethtown and realized I needed a new list. If there was one honest second in Elizabethtown, it must have come when I was sleeping. It was a masterpiece of failed emotional manipulation. Okay, so that went on top. But then last week I saw The Last Kiss. It could also have been titled The Last Zach Braff Movie I Will Ever See. Zach's sad-Zach face and overwhelming level of Braffness reaches near-unbearable levels about 12 minutes in. And then there's another hour and a half of him staring at the lens with big doe-y Braff-eyes. So, yeah, Last Kiss is now on top. It's hard to imagine it being displaced, but I still haven't seen that Leo The Cap movie where he talks in a Boer accent and saves all of Africa from evil diamond smugglers.

Crazed Fan Plants One On Unsuspecting Author

We cut off the booze early, but some people apparently brought their own.
Where's security when you need it? Where's my Samoan bodyguard?

Technology Is Evil-ish

So I have this 80 gig iPod, which I upgraded from my 40 gig one, which I upgraded from my 10 gig one. At first, it seemed like there was so much space on the 80 I could say something and hear an echo everytime I used it. Now, things are getting tight. It has 66 gigs full, and 4-5 of them are unusable due to storing the user software (shouldn't they call it a 75 gig iPod then?) and the 14,000 or so odd songs on there are starting to feel clausterphobic. I may have to start deleting stragglers. The weird thing though, is that I should be able to put it on shuffle and have it play for like six weeks without repeating a song, but the last few times I've listened to it, Zeppelin's The Crunge comes on. Wed, The Crunge. Friday, The Crunge. Early Sunday morning? The Crunge. It's starting to frighten me. It's like a message from the semi-dead (Jimmy Page). It's like S.M. Geller is going to show up and start doing her screaming and seeing things crawling on the ceiling routine. The only solution may be to flood the thing with so much Dave Matthews that it renders Zeppelin inert, like putting salt on a slug.

Finally, The Signing Table

Thanks especially to Shannon, Patrick, and Nikolai of Books Inc., who were amazingly friendly and helpful. Do them a favor and swing by and buy six or eight of Mitch Albom's new book, The Thirty-Seven More People You Will Meet In Heaven, Thirty-Six Of Them Someone Else's Grandparents You Don't Know.

Launch Party Pics #2



GNF Launch Party -Friday The 13th


Insert Lyrics To Some Styx Song Here

This is not an endorsement, I'm just getting it on record now: John Edwards will be our next president. Barack will be his vice. Hillary will meet the resurfaced ghost of Bill's still-barnacled presidency and fall short. Also, neither McCain nor Giuliani will survive the brutal scrutiny, and some lesser known third will emerge to be stomped by the Edwards juggernaut.

Just thought I'd mention it.

Shopping For Cheese

Only four days left until the launch party and I am feeling a lot of stress about how much, and what variety, of cheese I need to get. One huge Costco block? Twenty different little pretentious ones? Weepy, smelly French stuff that needs to be eaten with a spoon? A patriotic clump of orange chedder? I have promised so many people that the main reason to come at all is the variety and breadth of fromage that will be offered, that I fear there is no way I can actually deliver.

Unless I stand up and read something from the Tibetan Book Of The Dead. Or maybe some Blake.

New Reader Pics

A whole new marketing demographic I hadn't considered...

Don't be such a Stan...send yours in...

A Friend Sent Me This And I Tried It

                                            THE MOVIE SOUNDTRACK OF YOUR LIFE

So, here's how it works:
1. Open your library (iTunes, Winamp, LimeWire, Media Player, iPod, etc)
2. Put it on shuffle
3. Press play
4. For every question, type the song that's playing
5. When you go to a new question, press the next button
6. Don't skip songs and lie and try to pretend you're cool... its rather interesting!

Opening Credits: Shell Shock-Stewart Dempster (sounds better than it really is)

Waking Up: Sneaky Pete- Bull Moose Jackson (it's going to be an interesting that might end in jail)

First Day of School: Ska-culation- Jackie Mittoo and The Soul Brothers (guaranteed to be THE coolest kid in class)

Losing Your Virginity: Reeling And Rocking- Johnny Hodges (how utterly perfect, from title to licks)

Falling In Love: When Johnny Comes Marching Home-Don Patterson and Booker Ervin (as long as it's not falling in love with Johnny)

Fight Song: Psalm-Roxy Music (hmmm....likely the worst possible least if you want to win the fight)

Breaking Up: Sands-Dizzy Reece

Life: Honest I Do-Jimmy Reed (pretty great as a personal philosophy)

Mental Breakdown: Taylor Made-Bernie Leighton (Well, maybe a very slight breakdown)

Driving: Hey Mr. Rain-Velvet Underground (If you're driving in Seattle)

Getting Back Together: On The Bean-Coleman Hawkins

Wedding: Buzz Me Babe-Slim Harpo (portends a successful union)

Final Battle: Eclipse-Eric Dolphy (yes, sir)

Death Scene: Daybreak In Dixie-The Stanley Brothers (possibly not the most perfect choice)

End Credits: Whirling Hall Of Knives-Butthole Surfers (without question THE perfect choice)

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