Sean Beaudoin

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The Mitt Is Gone

I watched Romney's concession speech last night and found it breathtaking in the depth of its turd-ishness. I can't believe there was ever even a remote chance that man could have been our president. It would have been time to immediately sell all extraneous items (everything but my laptop and vinyl) and move to Saskatoon. But, he is gone, so I don't have to start learning to like hockey. After blowing 35 million of his own cash, no less. That works out to about $132,000 per delegate. Nice going, Mitt. You could have saved us all months of your soul-less fixed-smile gaze and donated that money to Goodwill instead.

Here's what Mitt said last night, in a nutshell: "I could keep running (and blowing my inheritance), but I'm not going to, not because I have zero chance of winning, but because the Republican party now needs a solid frontrunner, and I love my country so very much, I will not do anything (by allowing even the slightest increase in the chance of a democratic win) to GIVE IN TO TERROR."

Class, all the way. The words of a Uniter, not a Divider.

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I miss him already. And the magic underpants.

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"Survival is for the ruthless. Everyone else is a hippie poet."

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