Sean Beaudoin

Enough excellent writing to fill a large tube sock

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Like an eastern mystic, without the toe-paint

Turns out I was way ahead of the curve on Charlie Sheen. Someone just reminded me that there's a Charlie Sheen entry in the glossary in the back of You Killed Wesley Payne. Am I kidding? No, I'm not. In fact, I totally forgot, mainly because it was written almost two years ago! Check it out here. And stop calling me "Nostradamus"....

Charlie Sheen |chur lee cheen|


1. The worst of a bad lot of Sheens, this uniquely American monument to wasted opportunities, rampant narcissism, bad acting, chin overload, the horrors of nepotism, and smug satisfaction continues to lower the bar of a cultural discourse that already thinks So You Think You Can Dance is a form of philosophical inquiry. And yet, oddly, Sheen-fils does provide an almost Intelligently Designed, perfectly banal yin to John Cryer's neutered post-Duckie yang every Monday night on CBS. If there's two men there, it's a mystery to this viewer, but it's certainly clear whose nub provides the extra half. As the jowly Colonel Kurtz says to young Martin Sheen after a long journey into the darkness that is the Nung River, "all things come to pass and all debts are ultimately paid." In this case, that probably means a half hour in a small room with Denise Richards.

And there's a whole alphabet's worth of entries after this one! Yeah, check it out.


If you haven’t yet, you should send him a copy.

It so totally true. You got his address, Ras?

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“Whether it’s beer, flu, or too many Cheetos, never, ever, ever pass out at a party. Ever.”

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