Sean Beaudoin

Enough excellent writing to fill a large tube sock

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From the Blog

Movie Review

Hanna Joe Wright — 5.8

Why did I go see this? I have no clue. I guess because it got good reviews. It is made well, and some of the camera work is great. There are also a few real, genuine scenes. And then, of course, there's the rest of the crap that necessarily surrounds a movie about a girl that weighs 103 pounds miraculously becoming a killing machine just because she's been "trained" by her ex CIA father. Have you ever seen an MMA bout? Do you see how these guys who are huge and cut and have been training as fighters for a decade are essentially at a standstill because they are equally matched? Would "Super CIA" training make them magically superior? Are there really tricks to be learned by wearing squirrel fir in the woods and learning German by the fireplace that would allow a tiny girl kick dozens of henchman into submission? Am I asking for too much reality? Maybe, but this sort of stuff bores me to tears. Government agents that are everywhere, technology that allows you to do everything, bullets that can be ducked, badasses that can kick really, really hard. Especially when they are 13 year old girls.

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"Trail was no longer an accurate term. It was now just the slightest cleft between vegetation, like a rotting green thong pulled tight between the ass cheeks of being lost."

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