Sean Beaudoin

Enough excellent writing to fill a large tube sock

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From the Blog


Hair Removal

So yesterday I'm getting my usual haircut at my usual place, which costs $12 a pop, and still seems like too much. The women who work there never seem to stay for very long, but they're always super friendly and don't speak a whole lot of English. Explaining how I want my hair cut usually just entails my pointing to the height setting on the clippers.

Anyway, the woman I had yesterday was Chinese, and she was chatting away about the weather and so forth in a vaguely understandable fashion, and I realized she had a KISS shirt under her smock, so I asked her if she was in KISS Army, which she didn't get, and so I asked her if she dug Detroit Rock City, which she didn't get, and so I asked her if she had any idea who KISS was, and she said no, she just liked the shirt. So I tried to explain who KISS was and what they sounded like, and I stuck my tongue way out like Gene and talked about spitting fire and wearing makeup. At which point she got highly offended. I don't know if she thought I was saying she should wear makeup, or that I did, or something even worse, but she whipped through the rest of the cut without saying another word, frowning at me in the mirror. I gave her a five dollar tip and slunk out like a criminal.


You should have just sung her Beth….babe I hear you calling, but I can’t come home right now….

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“Does he drool?
I don’t think so.
Does he eat glue?
Not that I’ve seen.
Does he frequently sniff his fingertips?
Actually, now that you mention it…
Let’s test him.”

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