Sean Beaudoin

Enough excellent writing to fill a large tube sock

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Movie Review

Faster dir. George Tillmann Jr. — 6.7

The first forty minutes of this movie is great. There's no explanation, no background, no character development. The Rock is pissed, he's in jail, and when he gets out, he's starts killing the people he's pissed at. Bam. Perfect script. No fat. The editing is tight, the camerawork inventive, and the soundtrack ballsy. Finally! An action movie that realizes momentum is everything, and fake character motivation and long speeches are death. And then, of course, the movie runs out of gas. Here comes the background info. Here comes a moronic side-plot about an super-assassin. Here comes Billy Bob Thornton with "I DID IT" practically in neon on his head, smirking and hang-dogging through every scene exactly like he does in every other role he's ever played. And then the ending is dumb. So, not a huge success, all in all. But at least they were smart enough to cast Adebise from OZ as the only redemptive character. Why start a movie with such promise and then give up the promise for cliche? Why?

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"Trail was no longer an accurate term. It was now just the slightest cleft between vegetation, like a rotting green thong pulled tight between the ass cheeks of being lost."

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