Sean Beaudoin

Enough excellent writing to fill a large tube sock

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From the Blog


Apocalypse List II

1. An economy based solely on the aquisition of status goods (We need a bigger house! We need to rent a storage unit! Our Lexus barely has leg room!) eventually turns an ownership society into an appearance society. During catastrophic times, a wealth of Appearance Goods is a liability. Our country is a Doric-columned tract house with a garage full of baubels and a yard full of plastic crap. A healthy portion of the rest of the world has watched our Caligula-ish largess from afar, while trying to acquire subsistance rice and crude roofing materials. We wonder why they're oiling the torches.
2. Terrorists are not soldiers who hate our way of life. They are actors trying to appeal to the passions of a suggestable populace. Terrorism is calculated theatre. Killing terrorists, particularly alongside collateral civlians, increases the drama of the theatre to the benefit of the actors and the sway they wish to exert. The promise of almost any kind of action is irresistable to impoverished, otherwise powerless audiences. There is not a military solution to this problem. There is a quality of life solution to this problem. The play called What America Stands For needs a drastic re-write.
3. The country that grows the best opium has always indirectly controlled the rest of the world.
4. The country whose populace spends their leisure time writing the dullest and most indulgent blogs will be the first to emulate The Last Days Of Rome.
5. Imperial Rome went from a populace of a million people to less than twenty thousand in the span of a generation.
6. Comparisons of just about anything at all to Rome, Fascism, Football, Your Mother, Gandhi, Einstein, Mick Jagger, or Faulkner should be illegal.
7. I'll give up my pessimistic sarcasm when they pry it from my cold, dead, low-paid editor's hard drive.
8. A true harbinger of Doom is when the New York Times goes under. Some people are saying it'll be by April.
9. This country has been on a downward path since the day people stopped yelling "Eureka!" in their basements.
10. On the plus side, conflagrations, social degredations, widespread panic, and economic woe has always heralded bursts of great new music.
11. Spend your last money on a quality subwoofer.

Coming in part three of this message: Why I am learning to read a compass and dig a well.
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“My name’s Stan. So right there I was more or less doomed from the beginning. You don’t think so? Ever heard of a movie star named Stan?”

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