Sean Beaudoin

Enough excellent writing to fill a large tube sock

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Economy Domine

Dear Sean Beaudoin

I am about to lose my house. I got talked into one of those adjustable rate mortgages and now my house is worth less than what I owe on it. Also, my company recently laid me off. I'm feeling sort of desperate. What should I do?

                                                                    Pete in Prescott
Dear Pete

That's a tough bind. You could always find the undoubtedly fair mortgage rate home of the owner of the company that sold you that crappy mortgage, soak his foundation with kerosene, and then play with boxes of matches. As far as your job, there's probably a better one around the corner. You didn't like your boss anyway, did you? And then after you and Suzie in acquisitions hooked up at that party, the whole feeling in the office has been sort of tense, hasn't it? But don't worry, those responsible for financial malfeasance will soon be caught and punished. Just look at Bernie Madoff. Under house arrest. In his Park Place penthouse apartment. While Mike Vick gets three years for the thing with the dogs. I mean, yeah, hurting dogs is as cowardly as it gets. But Mike's in Leavenworth. Bernie has an electronic ankle bracelet and an internet connection to spend the millions he stole that they haven't found yet. So, yeah, stay strong dude. Justice will prevail.
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